If I apply for Japanese citizenship, I have to have a Japanese name, apparently. I guess it would be “天空”, or Tenkuu, which means sky. The first character “ten”, meaning heaven, the next being “kuu”, or “sora”, meaning sky. But together it just means sky. Haha. But if you put my Japanese last name together with it, “大橋 天空”, it means Sky Bridge. Which means a lot to me personally, so I guess it’s cool. Haha.

after really just sitting in my room sorting out things in my heart, i’ve come to realize a few things. sometimes, life is just going to suck. but its up to us on how we approach it. i keep falling and falling back into this wormhole of unsure feelings but i’ve finally understood that its not that. its just to show me there’s someone better out there for me. and its alright being the way i am, because its true that god makes no mistakes. its up to us to become something different. 

i’m never alone. and whenever things seem rough, just shake it off. because life is so short, it really is. there’s so much to do in life and to just sit here and mope over the same things is ridiculous. never make the same mistakes twice. its common sense. 

if people don’t wanna like me, and i did what i can to try to be nice to them, to chill with them, get on their good side, they’re not worth my time. just like them, i have a life to live. 

i get it now. 

fuuckitsyen:

But at times i just want to call someone babe, fall asleep on the phone with them and take a bunch of pictures together.Someone i can call mine, someone that will be the first and last thing on my mind when i wake up and go to sleep.

There are some things you’ll never know. They’re obvious, but you won’t get a word out of me. I hate this feeling, I really do. There’s more out there for me, but I’m pulled back to this stupidity. Wtf is up with me.

my right eye is still swollen, i think my teacher said it looked like a stye. so no contacts for a while, and hot towel on my face four times a day now. lately, i’ve been thinking about my past, although i hate bringing it back up. there were definitely some great times, as there were bad times. just sorting out what was good in my life and what was bad made me realize that some things are seriously.. not meant to be, and i’m coming to understand that. i have to look forward, right?

as summer is coming up, i wanted to renew my music in my phone just to keep myself all upbeat and hyped up for no reason, haha. i’ve started to like music i wasn’t into when i was in high school, oh well. 

sometimes, there are times i just want to say things to someone, but then i realize its best left a secret sometimes. whether its a thanks, or being frank, sure, it would help them see things, but at the same time some people are too sensitive. such as myself. actually, no. i can proudly say that although i’ve been through a lot in my life and up to now, i’ve developed a thick skin. and you can suck on that. bwaha.

i remember at one point, i thought my best friend was the cool guy. ooh, how i wanted to be so cool and popular. looking back now, my mentality is totally different. i wanted to be “cool” so i could hang out with the kids who all well known. partying, smoking, drinking, shit like that. but it wasn’t meant for me, and i still turned out okay. so who the fuck cares if i’m not cool? they aren’t worth my time. they aren’t worth your time if they don’t see how amazing you are. its true when they say we’re all amazing in our own way. life is gonna keep throwing hell at us. well… for me, i say BRING IT. 

I can’t be liking One Direction. 

NO. But shit, they had a catchy song.